Ricky's Big World

Fake Jobs, Frozen Cars, & Poolside Fails

Ricky Bartlett Season 1 Episode 42

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Ricky takes us on a wild ride through his past, from moving to Seattle with a 6-month-old to surviving brutal Vermont winters and finally settling in Louisiana. He spills all about prosthetic swimming struggles, and why a one-legged seagull should’ve been a sign. Plus, a heartfelt moment about giving away his snowblower to a kind neighbor.

Get ready for a hilarious, real, and insightful episode of Ricky’s Big World!

Timestamps:
0:00 | Intro – Spilling all the tea & an unexpected snack mishap
0:40 | Ricky’s epic move to Seattle (featuring a fake employer & a sketchy headhunter)
6:00 | A road trip gone wrong—wrong fluids, broken trucks, & a rescue mission
11:00 | How a kind landlord saved Ricky’s Seattle dream (and an apartment with killer views)
14:30 | Vermont winters: Losing a car to snow, digging out for 2 hours, and why Iowa’s winters are easier
17:45 | Moving for love: Ricky’s support for his wife’s chemistry career & relocating to Iowa
22:02 | Why Ricky is done with snow forever & the great snowblower giveaway
29:00 | Ricky’s prosthetic leg pool struggles: “I’m top-heavy now!” 
36:00 | Could Ricky’s pool time be a tax write-off? He’s checking with his accountant!
38:05 | The episode wraps up with an arm-strength realization & gym equipment confession

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[INTRO]

Ricky: Howdy, y’all! So, on the next episode of Ricky’s Big World, we’re gonna spill all the tea.

Roxanna: It's worth more money knowing that it went to somebody who really needed something like that.

Ricky: Yeah… Well, and so kind—wait, what the hell did I just lick off my finger?

Roxanna: I have no idea.

Ricky: I sure hope that's pizza sauce. Okay, yeah… It is.

[Segment: Welcome to Ricky’s Big World]

(Background sounds of a busy restaurant.)

Ricky: Back in the Pizza World caverns, behind the test ovens… and in reality, next to the bathrooms—it's Ricky’s Big World!

Roxanna: (laughs)

Ricky: Hey, welcome to another episode of Ricky’s Big World! Now, I wanna show y’all what we got right here—this is Italian sausage. Italian sausage! Now, this is part of the lunch special because Pizza World has lunch specials Monday through Friday.

Roxanna: Yes, they do.

Ricky: And this is one of ‘em. You get this, and you get a drink.

Roxanna: And it’s only $5.35!

Ricky: $5.35 with tax. That’s right.

Roxanna: That’s a deal.

Ricky: Yeah! So, we’re gonna go ahead and try this before we get into talking about anything else. (takes a bite) Ohhhh.

Roxanna: How is it?

Ricky: Mmmm. Tastes so good.

Roxanna: Yeah?

Ricky: Tastes so good. And I’ve got my special cup for this episode, too.

Roxanna: I see that.

Ricky: My fingers are over it, huh?

Roxanna: No, you’re good.

Ricky: Okay, good.

[Segment: Ricky is a Local Celebrity (According to a 6-Year-Old)]

Ricky: Now, let me tell you something—this right here, what I just said, was actually quoted by her child.

Roxanna: Oh my gosh.

Ricky: Go ahead, tell ‘em what happened.

Roxanna: So, my daughter was on the playground, and something happened. Some kid got hurt or something and said, “Oh, I almost lost my leg!”

Ricky: (laughs)

Roxanna: And my daughter goes, “Oh, like Ricky?”

Ricky: (laughs harder)

Roxanna: And the other kid says, “Who’s Ricky?”

Ricky: (mock shock) Who’s Ricky?!

Roxanna: And she gets so much attitude and says, “You don’t know who Ricky is?”

Ricky: Oh no.

Roxanna: She’s in kindergarten.

Ricky: Kindergarten.

Roxanna: And she’s giving this other kid sass about not knowing who you are.

Ricky: I love her already.

Roxanna: Then she goes, “You don’t know Ricky? He’s on the radio, and he doesn’t have any legs!”

Ricky: I do have legs! They’re just prosthetic!

Roxanna: (laughs) Well, she likes playing with your legs.

Ricky: Okay, hold on. That’s a funny sentence to say out loud.

Roxanna: (laughing) I meant—

Ricky: She likes playing with my legs?!

Roxanna: You know what I meant!

Ricky: No, no, let’s break this down. What do you mean?

Roxanna: You take your legs off, and she thinks it’s the coolest thing ever.

Ricky: Oh, that’s true. She did grab my leg one time and ran off with it.

Roxanna: Yes, she did.

Ricky: And she came back with a whole Chef Salad stuffed inside my leg.

Roxanna: That part did not happen.

Ricky: That’s how I remember it!

Roxanna: You’re so full of it.

[Segment: Ricky’s Big Moves – From Seattle to Iowa to Louisiana]

Roxanna: We’ve talked a little about places you’ve lived, but I feel like a lot of people don’t know you’ve actually lived in a lot of places—Seattle, Vermont, Africa, India. I wanna know more. Tell us everything.

Ricky: Oh, you wanna know everything?

Roxanna: Yeah, spill it.

Ricky: Well, okay. So, my daughter was six months old when Jennifer and I decided to move to Seattle. We saw the movie Disclosure and thought, Wow, Seattle looks cool! So, we just… packed up and left.

Roxanna: Just like that?

Ricky: Just like that. We put everything in a U-Haul, grabbed our 75-pound dog and our six-month-old baby, and drove from Georgia to Seattle. Took us four days.

Roxanna: That’s crazy.

Ricky: Yep. Got there and—bam!—immediately scammed.

Roxanna: What?

Ricky: Yeah. I had paid a headhunter to get me a job in Seattle, right? Paid him real money. We show up, go to sign the lease on our apartment, and they tell me, “Sir, you’ve been denied. We need proof of your employer.”

Roxanna: Oh no…

Ricky: So, I call the job, and the number doesn’t work. I get my friend to go by the office, and guess what? The office doesn’t even exist.

Roxanna: Oh my god.

Ricky: It was a scam. Took my money and disappeared.

Roxanna: That’s awful!

Ricky: So, we’re stuck in Seattle, in a Motel 6, with no job and no place to live. But then—this is where things turn around—we drive to Bremerton, come across this beautiful apartment complex, and explain the situation. And you know what they said?

Roxanna: What?

Ricky: “We trust you.” And they let us move in.

Roxanna: Wow.

[Segment: Closing Thoughts]

Ricky: So yeah, Seattle was great, but we ended up moving again for Jennifer’s schooling. Vermont, Iowa, and now Louisiana.

Roxanna: And now you’re avoiding snow forever.

Ricky: Absolutely. I shoveled snow for 19 years in Iowa, finally bought a snowblower… and then gave it away when we moved!

Roxanna: (laughs) That’s so sweet, though.

Ricky: Yeah, well, I don’t need it anymore. No snow in Louisiana!

Roxanna: Lucky you.

Ricky: (laughs) And on that note—that’s another episode of Ricky’s Big World!

Roxanna: We leave the light on and the front door unlocked—

Ricky: Unless you show up with snow. Then, stay home! (laughs)

Roxanna: See y’all next time!

[OUTRO MUSIC]

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